like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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