So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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