Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
