Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
