Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
