New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
