If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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