Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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