i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
