well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They have beer where we have blood.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
