yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
