We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
