Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
