please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
