For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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