I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't deserve a penis
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
