She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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