This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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