Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
