dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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