my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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