And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
last night I used snow as a chaser
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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