i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
