Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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