Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry XxJaimexX hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(801): View more from Utah

My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.

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(941): View more from Florida

I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

Fav 6 3910 1395
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'd give my left nut to see you

(609): View more from New Jersey

don't do that. I like the set

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(989): View more from Michigan

It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.

Fav 0 1067 653
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened

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(207): View more from Maine

You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.

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