Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
