i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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