time to smoke my breakfast
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize