My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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