I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
