If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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