It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
