whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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