Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
