Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
