Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
