Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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