omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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