I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
