I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
