Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
