The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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