this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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