Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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