did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
