it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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