girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
