this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
