Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't deserve a penis
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
