and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
